i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
