4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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