A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
