Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The uberlube is also flammable
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
