I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
