She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
