I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
