He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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