we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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