I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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