I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
