You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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