You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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