Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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