i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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