You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
