i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize