It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
this hospital has no fireball
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
