Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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