so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
