Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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