I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
