she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
