I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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