I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
