i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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