When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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