i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize