Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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