well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
