since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
