giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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