In America we eat man semen.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
