Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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