Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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