I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
