Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
