During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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