No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
my liver is dry heaving
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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