Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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