Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
