That's intense
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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