He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
