We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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