I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
