I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
