I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
