Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
there is glitter all over my balls
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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