I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize