i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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