i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
