Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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