im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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