College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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