Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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