your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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