I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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