Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
