ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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