Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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